So I recently stayed at a Premier Inn (Lovely beds, good food and lots of plug sockets for my chargers so all in all, awesome) and happened to come across this interesting snippet from the terms and conditions for their ‘Good Night Guarantee’:
This means that if you didn’t have a good nights sleep, you can’t claim if it was because of some common things such as: War breaking out near your room, fire, flood, lightning (So I’m assuming swarms of locusts also considering they seem to be naming ‘acts of god’? Also, on a side note, I misread this as lighting and thought that was a bit far, I think an annoying flickering light IS their problem but hey that’s just me and my poor reading skills) embargoes, labour disputes (Really? Has any of this actually happened near a premier inn on a motorway?) and epidemics.
Yes. Epidemics. So if you get a deadly disease that is sweeping the nation and it made sure you got a lot less shut eye than normal then screw you!
I, however, saw this and immediately thought of a zombie apocalypse. Because of course that would be where my mind went. I then imagined this exchange:
Customer: “No listen, all I’m saying is that the zombie apocalypse made it VERY difficult to enjoy the memory foam mattress and i think that you should really reimburse me for my trouble”
Receptionist: “Urrrrrggggghhhhhh” *translation: that is not our policy madam, it’s in the terms and conditions*
Customer: “Oh wonderful, you’re a zombie now too. You know this is terrible customer service and my trip advisor review will be SCATHING. Trust me”
Receptionist: *Eats customers arm. Which, to be fair, is not really an over exaggeration*
Though, if you think about it, Zombies must find it hard to work the computers well enough to actually deal refunds, due to poor motor skills, so really it makes sense. They shouldn’t be held liable for their condition, which could even be called a disability.
So, in conclusion, Premier Inn is obviously expecting the apocalypse (In flood or zombie form, they’re not picky) and CERTAINLY do NOT want that affecting their bottom line. No sir.