Premier Inn don’t sympathise with Zombie attack survivors

So I recently stayed at a Premier Inn (Lovely beds, good food and lots of plug sockets for my chargers so all in all, awesome) and happened to come across this interesting snippet from the terms and conditions for their ‘Good Night Guarantee’:

Premier Inn Terms

This means that if you didn’t have a good nights sleep, you can’t claim if it was because of some common things such as: War breaking out near your room, fire, flood, lightning (So I’m assuming swarms of locusts also considering they seem to be naming ‘acts of god’? Also, on a side note, I misread this as lighting and thought that was a bit far, I think an annoying flickering light IS their problem but hey that’s just me and my poor reading skills) embargoes, labour disputes (Really? Has any of this actually happened near a premier inn on a motorway?) and epidemics.

Yes. Epidemics. So if you get a deadly disease that is sweeping the nation and it made sure you got a lot less shut eye than normal then screw you!

I, however, saw this and immediately thought of a zombie apocalypse. Because of course that would be where my mind went. I then imagined this exchange:

Customer: “No listen, all I’m saying is that the zombie apocalypse made it VERY difficult to enjoy the memory foam mattress and i think that you should really reimburse me for my trouble”

Receptionist: “Urrrrrggggghhhhhh” *translation: that is not our policy madam, it’s in the terms and conditions*

Customer: “Oh wonderful, you’re a zombie now too. You know this is terrible customer service and my trip advisor review will be SCATHING. Trust me”

Receptionist: *Eats customers arm.  Which, to be fair, is not really an over exaggeration*

Though, if you think about it, Zombies must find it hard to work the computers well enough to actually deal refunds, due to poor motor skills, so really it makes sense. They shouldn’t be held liable for their condition, which could even be called a disability.

So, in conclusion, Premier Inn is obviously expecting the apocalypse (In flood or zombie form, they’re not picky) and CERTAINLY do NOT want that affecting their bottom line. No sir.



Why sexualising young female actors is less weird than sexualising young male ones

So I’ve just recently read a post on ‘The Debrief’, an online magazine about Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson:

The article is about how sexualising Emma Watson when she was only 14 didn’t seem strange, yet now Daniel Radcliffe is in his twenties we still seem uncomfortable seeing him do sex scenes or naming him in some ‘hot celebrity’ list.

And I believe I may have an idea as to why this is, and it basically boils down to stereotypical gender norms.

So most (and not all, certainly not discounting the lesbians or bisexuals or others out there) of the people sexualising Emma would have been guys, at least a significant majority. Now we already know from media and probably the guys we know ourselves that the people of the male persuasion tend to think that one main attribute that they look for in women is sexiness (Numerous YouTube comments and so on like ‘how will that attract a man?’ Or magazine articles like ‘top ten articles of clothing women wear that mean hate’ back this up) and and they tend to assume that one of women’s
biggest worries are how they look to guys. Not that we have anything else to worry about or anything, but I digress.

So we know this exists in a big way in men, so men sexualising women almost seems like a given. I myself have had conversations with other women much older than me about how it should just be accepted that men think about sex a lot. But, on the other hand, the people most likely sexualising Daniel Radcliffe would be women. And we’re, as a gender, much less likely to sexualise boys younger than us, which is how most people still see Daniel Radcliffe from his Harry Potter days.

Now this raises another, probably bigger issue: why is is not strange and almost paedophillic to sexualise a young girl under the age of consent and yet it is almost unheard of to do this to a young boy? Why are we less worried about this affecting young girls?

Or maybe it isn’t even that, it could just be that we see women sexualising others as so rare in comparison to men that, when women do it, it is taken much more seriously. As though we are not just saying ‘hey, this guy is good looking’ we are saying ‘I would like a relationship with him’ which is where everyone else draws a big thick line.

However men sexualising young women is so…almost normal that we see it as trivial and nothing serious. Yes they are sexualising her but it’s not like they would actually DO anything about it. Just boys being boys, it’s what they do… Whatever.

So there’s this big gender gap, which now, rather than being cute or trivial, is actually affecting the careers of boy actors who want to grow up and be taken seriously.

I think two things should be done:
1- we need to stop being so okay with the sexualisation of young women and the absurd normality of it all
2- get a little more comfortable with boy actors growing up and turning into men. The female gender may be pigeonholed into ‘mothers’ a lot without even having to have had kids first but we don’t need to keep perpetuating the stereotype of mothers not being able to let go of their ‘little boys’ and let these people grow up.

Exams are hard, and I’m too tired to come up with a better title.

So, I would say I’m a rational person. I didn’t tend to collect rabbits feet or lucky charms as a kid, I didn’t have lucky socks or underwear or seriously old pieces of clothing that gave me lucky powers.

And then there’s me at exams. If I have a good exam wearing that one top then that top is being worn for the next two weeks straight, personal hygiene be damned! I’ll wear the same necklace that I wore during the nice exam, do my hair the same way, eat the same breakfast. Have a banana for luck.

And all for that smallest possibility that it might have an effect in the questions and make them nicer. And it happens to everyone.

Now we are intelligent people (well…) and we know it won’t actually do anything significant other than give us confidence, but exams do that sort of thing to your mind. You turn into a crazy person surviving on junk food and whatever you can get out of a vending machine. Suddenly 5pm is ‘early’ and 10pm means you’ve still got tons of time left to revise, as long as you can stay awake. Time suddenly has no meaning and you forget what day it is, as long as it isn’t the day of an exam you really couldn’t care less.

It’s well known nowadays that most university libraries are open 24hours around exam time and they are usually packed to the rafters for all of that.

Finding a big table with a plug socket nearby next to a window is like finding that sunbed near the bar and just close enough to the loo so you can’t smell anything weird but you can get to it easily. Basically the exam holy grail.

So when I hear the phrase ‘students these days have it easy’ I seriously want to throw my jumbo notepad at their head. Because I have never heard either of my parents reminisce about the ‘all nighters’ they pulled, or the complete social pariah they had to become for three weeks to pass their exams. I mean, my dad went nocturnal for his university life but that’s another story, he still actually got some sleep even if it was during the day.

It is a well known fact that students are working harder and for longer hours than ever before. I mean, the concept of a library or study space being open for 24 hours is a relatively new thing. That combined with the fact that a much higher percentage of people are going to university and getting degrees, along with the huge fee rise (my parents didn’t even have to pay for tuition) and the current job market means that students are all that more competitive than ever before.

This doesn’t mean that the ones who have come before had it easy, it was likely that university was the toughest time of their lives too, but I really don’t see how they can belittle the efforts of students today with a clear conscience.

I mean, I’m not inherently a lazy person but after I finish these exams I will probably sleep for a week, and I deserve to. Because exams make everyone crazy, and we all deserve a rest.

So, basically? Adults/grand-adults? Stop belittling our achievements. We all work hard for what we get, and if we don’t…well then we don’t get it. We’re a lot like you in that respect.

So you’ve entered the ‘real’ world

So, you’ve just finished your degree in (insert academic topic here) and now you’re thinking ‘what do I do next?’

Well, according to most of your family at the last wedding you went to (might be getting a tad specific here) apparently using it to go into a stereotypically ‘normal’ job that people throw around as if it is the only thing to do after your particular degree subject.

So for English students that would probably be teaching, for mathematicians it’s apparently finance. Even though I’ve done a maths degree now, with only a couple of exams left, and haven’t even touched an iota of finance in the whole three years.

Now I get the link, numbers…other numbers, but to be honest, if I did go into finance I would pretty much have to do another three years of study and when I can only just see the light at the end of a tunnel of exams, driving right into another one seems a bit depressing.

Besides, this has always been a back up plan for me, as I really want to write books. (Cue gasps of surprise). But seriously, the link between logic and creativity is stronger than people think. I know tons of physicists and biologists who want to paint or write for their career. Yet the problem with school and, to be honest, every stage of your learning, is that if you have academic talent AND creativity you are almost shoved into the academic side, as ‘you should consider yourself lucky to be able to do this stuff’. It seems like creativity and the careers that follow are automatically seen as the booby prize for people who can’t do maths or science, rather than just another career path.

I think that should seriously change, especially when people just become graduates. I mean, come on! You worked really hard to get a good degree in a subject that your family would be proud of all so that if your creative career track failed you had something to fall back on and now you’re being told that you shouldn’t even try?

Your twenties are the years that taking a risk has the smallest…well…risk attached. You don’t have kids (I’m assuming, but you may) you aren’t married (again, I’m generalising but hear me out) and you don’t have a particular place you HAVE to live (again I’m…well you get it now) so isn’t this the best time to travel for a job, and take a risk on your dream?

I think the conclusion I’ve come to recently is that the only way to get around this is to stop doing things to please others. And start please yourself.

Because it’s very hard to ruin your life before you’re 25, so why not give it a go?

“You look, like, twelve”

So one thing I’ve been noticing recently is, according to most people, I don’t look 21 (my age). And it’s not a ‘huh, I thought you were more like 19’ it’s ‘seriously? I thought you were still doing GCSE’s ” (so basically 15, and I still think they’re overestimating what they actually think)

And you know what I think is the main reason? Television. Well, that and films.

So in a relatively recent film ‘Percy Jackson and the lightning thief’ the main and minor characters in the book that it was based on were 12/13 in the first book. In the film, however, nearly everyone was over the age of 20. In one case an actor playing a TWELVE year old was 29.

They also turned one character who was described in the book as a pasty chubby short little boy into a twenty five year old looking muscly tall black guy. I mean, I have absolutely nothing against people or actors of colour, I genuinely think we need a lot more of them, but when you’re transferring a character from book to screen a change of that sheer magnitude is just ridiculous.

It ended up being almost a parody of itself. A good film, but really it fell short of the book by a long way.

But one thing that comes from having nearly 30 year olds playing 14/16 year old teenagers is starting to skew our views of what children and teenagers actually look like. Not only are adults seeing us as younger and younger for our age and not taking us seriously, it’s also skewing our perception of ourselves.

We look in the mirror when we are teens and rather than see a perfectly normal 15 year old girl or boy, we compare our breast size or muscle strength or development to that of adults. Which is not going to work out well for anyone’s self esteem. We end up thinking that we’re late bloomers, or below average, when really we just need to wait a decade or so to catch up.

And this is not even mentioning the fact that TV and film is covered in people who would not be out of place in a modelling agency, meaning that from a very impressionable age we are constantly thinking that we come up short.

I personally think we should go the way of modern family, to some extent, as a decent amount of the characters are playing their own age with their own normal, age related issues, and therefore providing role models that we can not only compare ourselves to in a positive way, but also look up to, and see some of ourselves in.

So, on a lighter note, and as I seem to be more using this place as a soap box rather than a haven for comedy (because, you may not know this about me, but sometimes I actually make some people laugh) I thought I would link you all (all two of you) to a really good blog that will give you a great laugh:

Enjoy 🙂

My book of cool ideas and what turned out to be a really deep post

So I had a birthday recently and got this really cool book that’s filled with writing prompts, so I decided to boost the page count of my blog a bit I could pick a topic every now and then and write something from there If I couldn’t think of anything else to write about.

So anyway, I was flicking through trying to find something that sparked my creativity or thoughts and hit on ‘describe one physical change you would make to yourself if you could and how this would change your life.’

So my first thought was ‘just one?’ Then my second though was ‘I guess the biggest change would be my level of confidence.’

Because I’m at a point where I cringe at mirrors, and look at dresses in shops and think ‘would that make me look skinnier/hide my legs/make people like me?’

I mean, I have friends, but if also spend most of my social occasions flipping like I’m bipolar from ‘awesome I like myself’ to ‘okay, no ones talking to me I must suck, yep they probably don’t like me. Well I don’t really like myself so who can blame them. It’s probably my fat face and weird legs.’

And I also decided on reading this prompt that I wouldn’t be able to pick one thing to change if I tried. I have stretch marks that make my skin around my legs and hips and back of the knee really weak, because I was so premature when I was born my skin was really thin. So I would love to get rid of those and have normal skin. I would also love to thin out my thighs, because I’ve never looked down at my legs and remotely liked them. I would also love to get rid of the swelling on my face from steroids as a baby and have a jawline and not a ‘cherubic’ face as I’ve been told before, and I would so love to not look like a twelve year old for once in my life.

I want my stomach to be smaller, I want my boobs to be bigger, I want my arms to be toned, I want my eyes to be symmetrical, I want my hair to be thicker, my mouth to be wider, my forehead to be smaller and my hairline to be normal.

And then once I finished thinking of all this I got angry. Like seriously pissed off that in our society there is one look that is considered beautiful. That look has changed over the centuries but I doubt there’s ever been an era, as soon as fashion was a thing, that being different and normal rather than the perfect woman was encouraged. And that’s so sad.

It’s like as soon as I read a post on tumblr about how we should all love ourselves no matter what we look like, I look up and watch an advert in which deodorant makes our underarms smoother. As if people ever complained about scratchy armpit skin. I doubt any guy has ever brushed a girls armpit and gone ‘crap, she has such dry underarm skin, and with my armpit fetish this just can’t go on. This is it. We have to break up.’

Though if TV ever started doing video responses like YouTube I would so vote for that to be a thing.

Because until you feel loved and wanted and comfortable with yourself, this stuff coming our way from TV and online and in the world about how to be skinnier and toned and have perfect skin, it will damage you.

So compliment your female friends more often, tell them that they look amazing in that skirt that you can tell they feel fat/too skinny/weird in and try to change the way we all see ourselves a little bit at a time. Because I know first hand how good those little kind words feel, and how they stop you thinking about it for a while, and how that feels amazing.

I love you all, even though no one actually follows this blog 😛


We’re not suddenly the stupid generation

Stupid people

Something that has definitely been catching my eye lately is the need to label generations under a blanket term. Our generation is Generation Y and even as I type my ipad is correcting my by capitalising the G in generation and the Y as it has now become such a well used term that it is in apples dictionary.

Apparently our generation is lazy, entitled, stupid and (according to some of my family members) responsible for their own bad employment statistics. Even though I know first hand that because of the recession many adults have been forced to take jobs that would previously have been almost monopolised by the teen to young adult market.

Though I have another theory, I think that it’s not the generation that changes but the world around us. Imagine how different the fifties would have been with computers and the internet. Think of all those fan made video blogs we would have from elvis fans, (other stuff).

And those stupid lazy people would have been known throughout the internet as opposed to sitting at home doing nothing, then going out to do a remedial job that requires no skills. Now these people blog and make YouTube videos and comment on YouTube videos (not that I’m saying all you tubers are lazy and stupid, a lot of them aren’t at all, it’s just when stupid people make videos and post them to the world it’s a lot easier to spot them) and make themselves known to the world.

I think the only thing the internet has done in this is make us more aware of our generation and of all the people (good or bad ) in it.